“We don't accomplish anything in this world alone... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.” - Sandra Day O'Connor

From Flip Phones to Screen Time: How Smartphones Are Quietly Undermining Real‑World Connection

Screens, and Are We Connecting?

When I was 12 years old my parents found a really awesome group activity that met weekly, had good leadership and fostered community. I had some awesome experiences in that group and it was like being in an extended family in the best way possible. As time went on I started to notice something, a subtle shift. It came on gradually enough but one activity in particular made it obvious to me. I will guess that I may have been 14 at the time, I noticed that no one connected as much as they used to, everything was different. Granted they were all still great people to hang out with and still some awesome activities but what I noticed so clearly that day was what had changed. Almost everyone now had a smartphone. 

I watched how the presence of the smartphone was taking away from the relational experience we used to have. Instead of in between moments being times of connection and a time to chat they were becoming a moment to check something on the phone real quick. I mourned the shift, but I did not see that there was anything I could do. There were a few of us that stayed in the "flip phone club" longer than others. Maybe that is why I was so aware of the change close to when it was happening. If we aren't careful the social media, other apps and memes can shift how we relate to the person who is in the same room as us.

What Are The Consequences?

It is one thing back then, we were all at least 14 or older, and there was adult leadership around us to help us still foster connection and moments when the phones weren't allowed. What I am concerned about is all these years later when I go to watch 6-8 year-olds and to my surprise discover that each and every one of them had access to a screen, some had I-pads others had a smartphone. If I noticed such a change about 10 years ago when I was 14, how much more are we impacting the lives of these children? It is one thing to be allowed to use a parents phone or tablet at a young age but it is something else when they have one that they call their own. For the few hours I was over I would give the kids I watched a technology break and I watched them thrive off of that one decision. They would connect with their friends, play, read and be creative. They are moments I treasure.